Current Location: my room
hah! nice wish...
ok. these are all the poems out of my various hand-written journals that i have typed up so far.
An actor reciting the best of plays,
On the best of stages, his best of days,
Does not give the performance that you and me
Give daily for others wholeheartedly.
He may dance, sing, and leap about,
But would he, if he'd rather scream and shout?
He does what he wills, it is his passion,
He hides not the truth to stay with fashion.
Whereas you or I cannot say as much,
We'd rather hide than feel truth's touch.
We are the greatest of actors every day,
For every minute, in every way.
Our masks are to our faces pasted,
Never is their glamour wasted.
We hammer on, day after day,
'Til our smiles just stay painted that way,
'Til we don't even feel any emotion,
Only an annoyance at the commotion.
They call me a coward, the others do,
Say I'm not brave enough to feel like you.
But I've felt before, and that's the reason,
I feel no more from season to season.
I'd rather hibernate and stay alive,
Than come awake to only die.
If I Died, Would You Know I Was Gone?
Now my love, a tale I will tell,
Of pain and sorrow, of Death's cold knell.
Of priceless things taken, and one man left shaken-
With cold stuttering, with fear shuddering.
The evil men who did this were close to the one who suffers.
Would you believe it, love, if I said they were his brothers?
They robbed him of his pride,
so no one took his side.
They smothered him with guilt,
Ruined everything he built.
But he was gracious, kind and true.
He still loved his brothers two.
And so his shame just stayed with him,
Lurking and stalking and barking its rhythm.
To rid himself of it he took up the blade,
And a dangerous game of sorrow he played.
Yet to him it was the one release, in his day the only peace.
Then more peace he wanted, so more peace he got,
But at a terrible price: he couldn't stop.
So others found out, saw the cuts on his body.
'Til everyone knew his saddening story.
That he'd been deceived, of true brothers bereaved.
The brothers two were run out of town,
Up over hills and valleys down,
Never again in those parts were they seen,
It all ends happily, it would seem.
But this is not so, we are forgetting the victim,
He still had his shame, it was still with him.
For he felt it his fault that his brothers were gone.
If only he'd stopped, he should have been strong.
He'd not forgiven himself his brothers wrong...
And when he died, no one knew he was gone.
In My Fortress
In mine iron fortress of thought,
Whose battlements in dreams I wrought,
None may touch me, I cannot be caught.
My defenders are many, brave and true,
But upon your entry my defenders you slew,
And no man has entered yet but you.
So you reach my core, and the truth you see,
That nothing good resides in me,
All I am, all I have, is weakness, love,
Save for thee.
And yet, my love, what is this?
Do you leave me in this abyss,
Never again to feel your kiss?
When you leave me, you know not,
That what you take is all I've got,
That all I've done shall be for naught.
Now try as I might my fortress to leave,
My defenders keep me, lest I be bereaved.
So I prepare for one last heave,
That in my life I may love once more,
That all that is good may be an open door,
That you, my love, I shall love once more.
Now I search for one thing only,
To see your face, to have you hold me,
To have my love once more redeem me.
For in my heart is only frost,
And without my love, all is lost,
So I must find you, whatever the cost.
Oh the joy when it's you I find,
But when I attempt of our love to remind,
To you there are no ties that bind.
You would simply send me away,
To only remember, and not live that day,
This is the price you wish me to pay.
I decide that to you my love, this gift I will give,
I will drain my love away slow through a sieve,
And so, my love, because of you, never again will I live.
Where Are You Tonight?
Where are you tonight?
Away from me, away from light?
With someone else in the dark,
A passionate hunter, a lover, a shark.
He's just a spy, this evil man you kiss,
He'll drink you dry, the one whose sheets you twist.
Nothing will he give you, for only does he take.
He'll leave you with a thirst nothing wholesome can slake.
Hot, fast, passionate pain that's almost a pleasure,
A bittersweet ache that cannot be measured.
It's an artistic science, the way he abuses,
Oh, love, please see it's you he uses!
How has he blinded and blackened your eyes?
You are covered by his web of lies!
He's made you believe his heat is hotter,
But in the end it's lukewarm water.
Come back to me, I'll love you better.
My loving won't bind you like a fetter.
Not aggressive and fast, but smooth and slow,
I promise, love, that for hours we'll go.
But for now I know its his name you cry,
And in that knowledge I quietly die.
Only know, darling, that I'll love you forever,
And nothing will cause that cord to sever.
anyone who reads this, critiques welcome.